(musical intro)

A used
Pink bathrobe,
A rare
mint snowglobe,
A Smuf
TV tray

I bought
On E-Bay...

My house
Is filled with
This crap
Shows up in

Bubble wrap,
Most every day.

What I bought
On E-bay...

Tell me why
I need another pet rock!

Tell my why
I got that Alph alarm clock!

Tell me why
I bid on Shatner's old tupee!

They had it
On E-bay...

I'll buy
Your knick-nack.
Just check
My feedback.

A-plus-pluss
They all say.


They love me
On E-Bay...

Gonna buy:
A slightly damaged golf pack,
Some Beanie Babies
New with tax,

From some guy
I've never met in Norway
Found him
On E-Bay.

I am the type
Who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left
To go

Woah

Got Paypal or Visa
Whatever'll please ya
As long as I got
The dough!

I'll buy
Your chatchkeys.
Sell me
Your watch, please.

I'll buy, I'll buy,
I'll buy, I'll buy...

I'm highest bidder!

Junk keeps arriving
In the mail
From that
world-wide garage sail

Hey! A Dukes of Hazard ash tray!
I bought it on E-bay...

Wanna buy?
A Packman Feaver lunch box?
A case of vintage tube socks?
A kleenex used by Dr. Dre?

They had it
On E-Bay...

Wanna buy?
That Farrah Fawcett poster?
Pez dispencers and a toaster?

Don't know why
The kind of stuff you'd throw away,

I'll buy
On E-Bay...

What I bought
On E-Bay...

(music fades ou